Honoring Marital Vows with Complete Fidelity

In our day the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles declared in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" that "God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."

When I read this, I think about all of the many people who do not follow this.  Teenagers are starting younger and younger and unfortunately they are starting a chain reaction from generation to generation.  

To your surprise, there are several different types of infidelity.

• Relational Detachment (which includes Emotional and/or Physical)
• Detached (which includes Fantasy and/or Visual)
• Attached (which includes Romantic and/or Sexual)

There are many consequences of infidelity.

• Objectification
• Overemphasizing the Visual
• Overemphasizing Sex
• Instant Gratification and Instant Solutions

Elder Bruce C. and Sister Marie Hafen explained, "When men or women are true to the deepest instincts of their natures, they will nurture sensitivity and kindness as part of their marital fidelity.  But when their motives darken toward betrayal or a quest for power, they cast away their human kindness in ways that deny the link between true sexuality and fidelity" (Hafen, B.C., & Hafen, M.K. (1994). The belonging heart: The Atonement and relationships with God and family. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book.).

Preventing Marital Infidelity

• Boundaries: Being on Guard
• Fiercely Loyal (controlling thoughts)

Repairing Marriage after Infidelity

Snyder, Baucom, and Gordon indicate that the majority of couples, about 70 percent, stay together and attempt to work it out, despite one of them being unfaithful.  Nearly half of those who choose to stay together end up building a strong relationship (Snyder, D.K., Baucom, D.H., & Gordon, K.C. (2007a). Getting past the affair: A program to help you cope, heal, and move on-- together or apart. New York: Guildford.).

                                 thegospelcoalition.org 

Step 1 - Rebuild Trust

• become accountable!
• establish boundaries
• rebuild the trust bank account

Step 2 - Gain Perspective

• understand how the infidelity came about
• Could include: high amounts of conflict, lack of emotional connectedness, lack of physical intimacy, high amounts of stress, etc.

Step 3 - Repentance and Forgiveness

• confession
• forsaking sin
• finding forgiveness
• forgiving an unfaithful spouse (can be the most difficult tasks in a couple's healing process)

Step 4 - Overcoming Addiction

• ADDICTION DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON BAD.
• stopping
• counseling

Step 5 - Making the Choice to Stay Together

• Healing the past
• strengthening the present
• enrich the future

Marital Sexuality and Fertility

Marital sexuality serves several purposes for both husband and wife as individuals as well as for the couple relationship. 

Becoming One

David A. Bednar taught, “The natures of male and female spirits complete and perfect each other, and therefore men and women are intended to progress together toward exaltation” (Bednar, D.A. (2006, June). Marriage is essential to His eternal plan. Ensign, 36, 82-87.).

Rabbi Shuley Boteach identified physical intimacy of a husband and wife as something that symbolizes the tie between God and all of His creations.  He stated, “that Judaism has always identified sex as the most holy of all human endeavors.”

This is HUGE news to the worldly people of today.  They do not think about becoming one with their sexual partners at the moment.  It is an amazing concept and will create more love and understanding in their home.

This is a picture of my husband and I on our wedding day. (We just got married May 4, 2013, so it was pretty recent!)

Strengthening Bonds

President Spencer W. Kimball taught, "There is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself, for by that means men and women join... in an expression of love" (Kimball, E.L. (Ed.). (1982). The teachings of Spencer W. Kimball. Salt Lake City: Bookcraft.).

In Islam, M. Holland explained that one of the benefits of marriage is to obtain peace of mind.  He goes on to state that the pleasure derived from sexual intercourse between a husband and wife is an example of happiness in the afterlife" (Holland, M. (Trans.) (1998). The proper conduct of marriage in Islam (Adab an-Nikah): Book 12 of Ihya'Ulum al-Din. Hollywood, FL: Al-Baz Publishing.).

Procreation

Christianity, Judaism, and Islam ALL point to Adam and Eve where they were told to be fruitful and replenish the Earth.  This is a very difficult task but so simple at the same time.  The only way that generations can keep coming is if procreation keeps occurring.

Whether we are to have the children ourselves, or adopt, having children in our lives are very important!

 

usdailyreview.com

blogs.publishersweekly.com

Children

President Hinckley said, "If you are married, you and your spouse should discuss your sacred responsibility to bring children into the world and nurture them in righteousness" (Hinckley, G.B. (1984). Cornerstones of a happy home [pamphlet]. Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.).

This of course is only for the physically able of course.

Don't worry!!! You can have as little or as many children as you want to have, it just depends on you, your spouse, and the Lord.  All three are apart of the decision to have children.