Honoring Marital Vows with Complete Fidelity

In our day the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles declared in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" that "God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."

When I read this, I think about all of the many people who do not follow this.  Teenagers are starting younger and younger and unfortunately they are starting a chain reaction from generation to generation.  

To your surprise, there are several different types of infidelity.

• Relational Detachment (which includes Emotional and/or Physical)
• Detached (which includes Fantasy and/or Visual)
• Attached (which includes Romantic and/or Sexual)

There are many consequences of infidelity.

• Objectification
• Overemphasizing the Visual
• Overemphasizing Sex
• Instant Gratification and Instant Solutions

Elder Bruce C. and Sister Marie Hafen explained, "When men or women are true to the deepest instincts of their natures, they will nurture sensitivity and kindness as part of their marital fidelity.  But when their motives darken toward betrayal or a quest for power, they cast away their human kindness in ways that deny the link between true sexuality and fidelity" (Hafen, B.C., & Hafen, M.K. (1994). The belonging heart: The Atonement and relationships with God and family. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book.).

Preventing Marital Infidelity

• Boundaries: Being on Guard
• Fiercely Loyal (controlling thoughts)

Repairing Marriage after Infidelity

Snyder, Baucom, and Gordon indicate that the majority of couples, about 70 percent, stay together and attempt to work it out, despite one of them being unfaithful.  Nearly half of those who choose to stay together end up building a strong relationship (Snyder, D.K., Baucom, D.H., & Gordon, K.C. (2007a). Getting past the affair: A program to help you cope, heal, and move on-- together or apart. New York: Guildford.).

                                 thegospelcoalition.org 

Step 1 - Rebuild Trust

• become accountable!
• establish boundaries
• rebuild the trust bank account

Step 2 - Gain Perspective

• understand how the infidelity came about
• Could include: high amounts of conflict, lack of emotional connectedness, lack of physical intimacy, high amounts of stress, etc.

Step 3 - Repentance and Forgiveness

• confession
• forsaking sin
• finding forgiveness
• forgiving an unfaithful spouse (can be the most difficult tasks in a couple's healing process)

Step 4 - Overcoming Addiction

• ADDICTION DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON BAD.
• stopping
• counseling

Step 5 - Making the Choice to Stay Together

• Healing the past
• strengthening the present
• enrich the future