http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkOnH36S_pY
"...The ABC's or more correctly, the ABCDE's... George Levinger postulated a five-phase development of heterosexual romantic relationships:
A: Awareness of or Acquaintance with another person;
B: Buildup of the relationship;
C: Continuation following Commitment to a long-term relationship (which may result in marriage for many couples);
D: Deterioration or Decline in the interdependence of the couple;
E: Ending of the relationship"
(Levinger, G. (1983). Development and change. In H.H. Kelley, E. Berscheid, A. Christensen, J.H. Harvey, T.L. Huston, G. Levinger et al. (Eds.) Close relationships (pp. 315-359). New York: W.H. Freeman & Co.).
Every single one of these steps does not have to be in every relationship, but the last two are what are happening when a couple's relationship starts to fail.
While we are starting in the dating scene, we may think that we are not ready for any type of commitment because we have stuff from our past holding us back.
"How do we come to terms with negative experiences in our families? While therapy, good books, and good role models outside the family are helpful, ultimately, the octrines of the gospel of Jesus Christ, especially the plan of salvation and the Atonement, are the most powerful agents of change" (Packer, B.K. (2004, May). Do not fear. Ensign, 34, 77-80.).
If we want to find success, then we should take care of issues that we may have before we get into a committed relationship.
Physical attraction can of course be something to look for, but should not be the only aspect in the relationship that is a positive one.
Elder Richard G. Scott gave a list of things that a someone should be looking for in a spouse; "a deep love of the Lord and His commandments [and] a determination to live them. ... kindly understanding, forgiving of others, and willing to give of self, with the desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home" (Scott, R.G. (1999, May). Receive the temple blessings. Ensign, 29, 25-27.).
We have to be able to confront the person and be able to communicate with them in some way. It can be frustrating, but you just have to keep trying.
When going for the buildup, this is when a couple is constantly communicating and spending time with each other. Something else that is always done is talking about the relationship. People tend to hangout instead of date. Going on dates with different people does not make you a slut, it makes you a person who is looking for options. Hanging out seems to be the easier way to go, yet there are so many men and women who are not happy with this type of making-no-progress-toward-a-relationship time. There are three things to look for while "hanging-out":
1) is clearly directed toward finding out if the person could be a possibility for marriage
2) has a short time limit
3) doesn't take advantage of anyone
Break-ups are apart of dating. Of course there are the very few amounts of marrying the high school sweetheart, but it is pretty uncommon. Usually at some point in our life we are going to go through a break-up, whether we are the one doing the deed or it is being done to us. There can be some serious heartache in this department, because most of the time someone tends to get hurt feelings. This of course can be through dating, or even in marriage.
Then you get the commitment phase. This is where we are committed to the person that we want to marry. Something that is important to do is go to the Lord to know that this is the right decision. The Holy Ghost will let you know if you need to stop, or if it is okay to keep pursuing this relationship. Weddings tend to take up a lot of time and people can sometimes get offended. Don't worry about that nonsense!
"Do not let receptions, wedding breakfasts, farewells, or other activities overshadow the sacred temple experience" (Scott, R.G. (1999, May). Receive the temple blessings. Ensign, 29, 25-27.).
Physical attraction can of course be something to look for, but should not be the only aspect in the relationship that is a positive one.
Elder Richard G. Scott gave a list of things that a someone should be looking for in a spouse; "a deep love of the Lord and His commandments [and] a determination to live them. ... kindly understanding, forgiving of others, and willing to give of self, with the desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home" (Scott, R.G. (1999, May). Receive the temple blessings. Ensign, 29, 25-27.).
We have to be able to confront the person and be able to communicate with them in some way. It can be frustrating, but you just have to keep trying.
(A picture of my husband and I when we were dating)
When going for the buildup, this is when a couple is constantly communicating and spending time with each other. Something else that is always done is talking about the relationship. People tend to hangout instead of date. Going on dates with different people does not make you a slut, it makes you a person who is looking for options. Hanging out seems to be the easier way to go, yet there are so many men and women who are not happy with this type of making-no-progress-toward-a-relationship time. There are three things to look for while "hanging-out":
1) is clearly directed toward finding out if the person could be a possibility for marriage
2) has a short time limit
3) doesn't take advantage of anyone
Break-ups are apart of dating. Of course there are the very few amounts of marrying the high school sweetheart, but it is pretty uncommon. Usually at some point in our life we are going to go through a break-up, whether we are the one doing the deed or it is being done to us. There can be some serious heartache in this department, because most of the time someone tends to get hurt feelings. This of course can be through dating, or even in marriage.
Then you get the commitment phase. This is where we are committed to the person that we want to marry. Something that is important to do is go to the Lord to know that this is the right decision. The Holy Ghost will let you know if you need to stop, or if it is okay to keep pursuing this relationship. Weddings tend to take up a lot of time and people can sometimes get offended. Don't worry about that nonsense!
"Do not let receptions, wedding breakfasts, farewells, or other activities overshadow the sacred temple experience" (Scott, R.G. (1999, May). Receive the temple blessings. Ensign, 29, 25-27.).
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